Sunday, April 13, 2014
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
September 2013
The fact of the matter is: I don't have any idea what I want to do with
my life. I don't even know what I want to do tomorrow, let alone in
years to come. I'm average. I have an average height, average looks,
average grades. I don't really have much of a special talent. I just sit around and be weird. Honestly, I was okay with that.
Then it all came crashing down as I realized something. There are people out there who are rich and famous for their own talent at an age younger than me. Most kpop artists are only a few years older than me. Lee Hi is sixteen years old and that girl has a voice like no other. I started to realize that I will never be as good as them. Never. I'll never be as pretty or talented. Some kpop artists speak like 4 different languages. How could I ever compare to people like that? How am I going to be successful in this world when there are people like that out there, with talent oozing out of them.
So I've been struggling, to figure out what the hell I want to be. I've tried asking people but they don't help shit. Someone actually laughed at me because I had so many diverse things i like to do. Other people just kind of nod their head. I get that it should be my decision but would it kill you to care?
Guys, I feel so proud of myself. This was a reality that hit hard for me at the time but looking back on it, this is just crazy.
Folks, my name is Alise Kilmer. I want to major in General Foreign Language & minor in Technical Theater. My top college is Nazarath. I have a boyfriend who loves me and friends who care. I don't care what other people think of me. I'm going to be myself, goddamnit, if it's the last thing to do. I love to write and people love my writing. I don't think any of it is publishable but it makes me feel warm inside when I see the compliments people give me.
The saddest part of this is that this was at the beginning of my school year. It wasn't even a year ago. The only person new that's walked into my life since then is my boyfriend.
Around that time I was also having family problems. In all honesty they're far from resolved but I'm resolved about what's going on. Does that make sense?
Then it all came crashing down as I realized something. There are people out there who are rich and famous for their own talent at an age younger than me. Most kpop artists are only a few years older than me. Lee Hi is sixteen years old and that girl has a voice like no other. I started to realize that I will never be as good as them. Never. I'll never be as pretty or talented. Some kpop artists speak like 4 different languages. How could I ever compare to people like that? How am I going to be successful in this world when there are people like that out there, with talent oozing out of them.
So I've been struggling, to figure out what the hell I want to be. I've tried asking people but they don't help shit. Someone actually laughed at me because I had so many diverse things i like to do. Other people just kind of nod their head. I get that it should be my decision but would it kill you to care?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just found this draft in here just sitting on it's lonesome and just wow.Guys, I feel so proud of myself. This was a reality that hit hard for me at the time but looking back on it, this is just crazy.
Folks, my name is Alise Kilmer. I want to major in General Foreign Language & minor in Technical Theater. My top college is Nazarath. I have a boyfriend who loves me and friends who care. I don't care what other people think of me. I'm going to be myself, goddamnit, if it's the last thing to do. I love to write and people love my writing. I don't think any of it is publishable but it makes me feel warm inside when I see the compliments people give me.
The saddest part of this is that this was at the beginning of my school year. It wasn't even a year ago. The only person new that's walked into my life since then is my boyfriend.
Around that time I was also having family problems. In all honesty they're far from resolved but I'm resolved about what's going on. Does that make sense?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)